I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
