did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Randomize
