Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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