i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
