I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
It's blow job season.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
