Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I deserve this hangover.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize