So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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