Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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