i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
should my penis look like a turkey
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
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