I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
