dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
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I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
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I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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