i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
