Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize