Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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