Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
