You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
