Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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