from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
you would pick up someone in the library
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
