Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
