Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
My vagina is officially offended.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
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