How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
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