I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
