What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
