why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
