he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
