I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
