Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
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