Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
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