now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
