YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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