Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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