like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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