Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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