he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
