Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Everything about him screamed your future.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
