I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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