News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
