bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
