Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
