$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize