Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
