Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
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