My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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