Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
