i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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