Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
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