I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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