we made out on top of his cat.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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