Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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