Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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