How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
