your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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