You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I want to walk on stilts...naked
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
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