I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
