how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
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