This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
