the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
