Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
