Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
