I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
he thought i was a dude.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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