i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
