Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
