We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize